If your life were a sitcom, you could probably measure every hookup with an old-fashioned Rate-O-Meter based on live audience applause. But in reality, who’s to tell if you’re actually hot stuff in between the sheets – or if your partner really is “da bomb”? Sex is subjective and pleasure preferential but if you or they are doing some of these things, you could be doing something O SO RIGHT – (and being good in bed doesn’t even have to do with a bed).
Confidence is everything, even in the sack. But it’s not just about having the skills, it’s about using them to pleasure your partner. In other words, owning the sexual responsibility of giving your partner a great time. Knowing before you begin that you’re both going to be putting it all out there to make the other person giddy with pleasure is already the battle half won. So don’t be shy to tell your partner what you’re going to do to them and exactly how… the brain is a sexual organ after all!
Out of this world
Needless to say, if you’re on the giving or receiving end of intense, earth-shattering, broken bedframe orgasms, OH YES! you’re probably doing a good job. Keep in mind though, that there are plenty of other paths to orgasm and not just intercourse. Get to know your partner’s pleasure points and explore all the other sextuations that also lead to the big O.
Out of the ordinary
Even the best sex can become feeling routine after about 5 years of doing it in the same place at the same times of the day during the same times of the month. We’re not talking a complete overhaul of your sex life with a different position from the kamasutra every single day. Introducing even one new thing every month can inject intrigue and curiosity back into your usual bump and grind. Write down all your sexual fantasies, or a list of toys and props, and you have your very own sex bible to refer to on those special evenings when there aren’t any kids or in-laws to worry about. If you’re already acting out those risqué thoughts of yours, good for you!
Making sex optional can lead to even greater sexy moments. This might sound counter-intuitive to what we’re trying to achieve here, but give it a chance. Sometimes, at the end of a long day, sex could be the furthest thing from our minds. We might even distance ourselves from our partners so we hopefully don’t have to have a “headache” again. If this keeps up, sex might become a chore! But if both knew that on occasions you could cuddle, touch, tease, flirt, stroke, rub, lick etc without it leading to sex, then the pressure’s off, and you can actually, truly, enjoy the moment. If it gets the both of you hot and bothered and leads to wearing out your mattress springs, good for you! Otherwise, knowing you can enjoy each other without the stress of it going anywhere will bring the two of you closer and create for opportunities for intimacy.
Depending on your inner “goody two shoes” level, doing something outrageous could be a huge leap outside of your comfort zone. But shouldn’t we all get a little naughty once in a while? It could mean lunch-time quickies, flirty footsie over dinner with the family, or going commando for a night out on the town. Thinking of ways to shock and surprise your partner will have them drooling over the thought of what’s to come. It just has to be something different and exciting for you and your partner. You don’t exactly have to run out and get some 50-shades-esque jiggly, tingly balls to put in your partner’s… secret garden while you’re at her cousin’s church wedding.
O is for Okamoto
“Winning is the science of being totally prepared,” said George Allen, Sr, and we say, “Scoring is the art of being totally prepared.” Making sure that you have your Okamoto’s on you prepares you for any situation – the one that takes place on the kitchen counter, in the “kinky spa” fantasy you’re role-playing, or, well, at your partner’s cousin’s wedding. Hey, if you’re feeling it, you’re feeling it!